Is Wanting More Just Ego?

As far back as I can remember, I was ambitious.
I always felt that life should be more than just a 9–5 job and two holidays a year.
I wanted something bigger — more freedom, more purpose, more control over how I live.

The problem was:
I only wanted it.
It wasn’t backed by action.
I had no plan, no systems, no clarity — just vague ambition and frustration.

And in that gap between wanting and doing, a voice in my head kept repeating things like:

“Maybe you want too much.”
“Life gives you what you need, not what you want.”
“Trust the process.”
“Go with the flow.”

At the time, I wasn’t sure if that voice was wisdom or just fear dressed up as advice.

But it stayed with me — and eventually, I had to figure out what was really driving me.
Was it ego? Was it clarity? Was I asking for too much… or finally asking the right questions?

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Reaction vs. Creation

Until 2020, I wasn’t really creating my life — I was mostly reacting to it.
Living on autopilot. Letting circumstances make decisions for me.

Moving to England wasn’t some grand plan. A friend offered to help me get started, and I thought, why not give it a shot?

Somewhere along the way, I became a Manufacturing Engineer — not because it was a childhood dream, but because it was a path that opened up, and I followed it.

Eventually, I ended up in Manchester — again, not because I planned it, but because my employer at the time offered me a relocation after a redundancy. I took the opportunity and moved.
It was the result of survival-mode choices. I wasn’t leading. I was responding.

Then something clicked.

At work, I spend my days improving systems — spotting inefficiencies, diagnosing problems, streamlining performance.
So I thought: why am I not doing that with my own life?

That’s when everything shifted.

I started looking at my life the same way I’d look at a production line running well below its full efficiency.
Not with emotion or judgment — just with clarity.

What’s not working?
Where’s the friction?
What’s costing me energy, time, health?

So I did what I do every day as an engineer:

• I diagnosed what was broken — old habits, toxic patterns, distractions.
• I tested new inputs — small changes to routines, mindset, environment.
• I built better systems — ones that didn’t rely on motivation, just structure.
• I tracked what helped me move forward — and what pulled me back.
• I kept refining — like I would with any good process.

Little by little, I stopped living by default and started designing a life that actually felt aligned.

Not perfect. Not in control of everything.
But clear — and mine.

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Ego Is Real — But It’s Not the Whole Story

Wanting more can be ego.
If it’s about proving something, chasing validation, or hiding from insecurity — then yes, that’s ego running the show.

But there’s another version of ambition that’s not rooted in fear — it’s rooted in responsibility.

A long time ago — long before I became a father — I heard a sentence that stuck with me:

“Don’t worry that your child doesn’t listen to you — worry that they’re watching you.”

That line stayed with me for years.

Now, as a father, it means more than ever.
I want more because I have a daughter watching me.
Because I want to lead by example.
Because I want to build a life where we’re not just surviving — we’re thriving.

That’s not ego.
That’s clarity, backed by action.

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Trusting the Process — and Building It

I used to love the phrase “trust the process.”
But I’ve learned that the process doesn’t work unless you’ve built it yourself — with intention, not just hope.

But I also know this: the process doesn’t work unless you show up for it.

“Go with the flow” sounds peaceful — but it’s only useful if you know how to swim in the direction you actually want to go.

I’ve learned to trust the process, yes.
But I’ve also learned how to design it, tweak it, and own it fully.

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Final Thought

So no — I don’t think wanting more is just ego.
Not if it’s honest.
Not if it’s rooted in something real.
Not if you’re willing to do the work and live with the cost.

Wanting more isn’t the problem.
Staying stuck is.

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Over to You

Have you ever wrestled with this tension?
Between ambition and surrender, clarity and chaos, discipline and letting go?

Let me know. I’m still figuring it out too — one honest question at a time.